HURRAY, it’s 2015!
Sorry I haven’t been posting – I’ve been enjoying the nice cold weather and festivities too much. Well, not like I’ve got many readers – be it real ones like Xiaxue’s readers or fake ones like those of Gushcloud ‘influencers’.
Anyway, instead of taking potshots at talentless ‘influencers’ who make a living out of taking pictures with products they probably didn’t even know existed, I’ve decided to do something better with my time.
I hereby present the top five incidents that made you go ‘WALAO EH, ZHUN BO?!’ from 2014!
1) Roy Ngerng, Han Hui Hui, Leong Sze Hian and their motley crew
We cannot talk about 2014 without mentioning Roy Ngerng, Han Hui Hui, and their gang of professional protesters. They’ve always been making noise online and at Hong Lim Park, but really rose to mainstream prominence after they disrupted a performance by kids with special needs just to drive their point across. Yep, you heard that right, they disrupted a performance by kids with special needs.
Which is really strange, because Han Hui Hui was leading the protest against the CPF – a fund that Han Hui Hui, as a 23 year old from Malaysia, has probably never contributed to.
Really weird bunch of people.
2) Oh and their lawyer, that M Ravi guy
Remember M Ravi? Let me remind you. He’s the lawyer who booked Hong Lim Park and claimed that he came from a generation of samurais and challenged Mr Lee Kuan Yew to a ‘one-on-one’.
He surprisingly remains as a practising lawyer in Singapore, with an unsurprisingly large appetite for attention. Not only did M Ravi tell the mother of Mr Sakthivel Kumaravelu (worker whose death sparked the Little India Riot in 2013) that he is her new son, he also volunteered to represent five of the rioters for free. A few months later, he tells these five rioters that they’re gonna have to find a new lawyer because of ‘costs’.
How did he do that?! Did he go to the five rioters and say ‘Sorry bro, I know I offered to do your cases for free out of the kindness of my heart but it’s too expensive so byebye!’?
3) Pioneer Generation videos
The Singapore gahmen is known for trying too hard. Remember that silly Mandarin is cool campaign? Or that MDA ‘rap’ video that probably helped popularise YouTube in Singapore? Well this year they’ve outdone themselves.
For some reason, the gahmen decided that making satire out of the different races’ cultural history is a great way to market the Pioneer Generation Package.
Take this video for example. I suppose the script was so campy and awful they couldn’t get a real female celebrity, and had to make do with a cross-dresser (everyone knows that male celebrities are cheaper).
The videos are so bad that I’m surprised no one has taken to Hong Lim Park to protest their broadcast. I suppose everyone’s scared of Roy Ngerng and gang now. I mean, if they could find it in themselves to bully disabled kids, what would they do to healthy people at Hong Lim Park?!
4) Taxi-Taxi app
Most regular taxi riders would have definitely heard of third-party taxi apps like GrabTaxi, EasyTaxi and Uber. Our gahmen decided to join in the third-party fun and launch their own app! HOW EXCITING.
The app tells people where the taxis are, and allows people to broadcast their location to taxi-drivers. Cool right?
Oh I didn’t mention how the app could allow people to book taxis? That’s because the app doesn’t actually do that.
Yep, this is a taxi app that doesn’t allow people to book a taxi. Instead, people can see where the taxis are, and ‘walk over’.
I’m pretty sure this app is just a Health Promotion Board initiative that is trying to encourage people to walk.
5) The mystery of Aljunied, Hougang, and Punggol East
Yes, astute reader – these are indeed areas held by the Workers Party (which quite ironically seems to attract white collar professionals more than blue collar workers…) on the east side of Singapore.
This is really quite a strange part of town, because according to the gahmen, at least 30% of the people here do not pay for services such as refuse management and estate maintenance. And the town council managed by the Workers Party just ignores this 30% and lets them enjoy the services for free!
Apparently this practice has been going on for a while over there, and I’m honestly surprised that the town council is not bankrupt yet. The Workers Party has yet to explain why so many people aren’t paying as well, and have kept saying that they will reply in due course. Well, this whole thing surfaced in November 2014, and it’s now January 2015. Whatever course the Workers Party was waiting for, I’m pretty sure it’s overdue by now.
Hopefully the Workers Party will come out and explain how exactly they allowed 30% of residents to not pay for estate management services!